“He who angers you conquers you.” Elizabeth Kenny
When you let someone make you angry, you’re letting them take control over you. You’re giving them absolute power over you. You become like Pavlov’s dog. They know what to say to make you angry, and can do it on demand.
Have you ever seen a successful person angry? It is very rare. It is extremely difficult to become successful if you go around letting others control and manipulate you, which is what happens when you let them make you angry.
Anger causes the brain to stop functioning normally. Your brain becomes focused on the anger, nothing else matters to you, except to get back at the person who made you angry.
Want to know how to stop letting people manipulate and control you? Don’t get angry. If you can’t help yourself, if anger is part of your life, go see a therapist. Go to an anger management session. Do whatever you have to in order to manage your anger.
When you get angry, you let others have the advantage over you. Even if you beat them to a bloody pulp, their wounds will heal, but you may end up losing your job, in jail or with a very expensive lawsuit. In the end, they will come out ahead. The satisfaction of physically assaulting them goes away very quickly when they smile at you the next time you see them, knowing they were the reason you were fired or went to jail.
If you’re in an office environment and get angry, that’s even worse. It means the end of your chances for advancement. Some people looking to get ahead will do anything to eliminate their competition. If you are their competition, and they know they can make you angry, they will chose a moment when senior managers are watching to make you angry.
Rather than get angry, get smart. Use their strategy against them. Count to ten if you have to, but rather than responding with an angry remark, wait, calm down, then respond with a well thought out response.
Never, ever, write a letter, memo, email, facebook update or tweet when you’re angry. Wait until you’re calm, and then write it. When done writing, don’t send it right away. Wait a little longer, then go back and read it. In the end, you may find the need to send it will go away, or that the message needs to be toned down a little more.
When you can control your anger, you regain full control over yourself. Respond to anger with kindness and you’ll gain the upper hand over someone else.
If you want to succeed in life, manage your anger. If the part of your brain which controls anger and reasoning is missing, all is not lost. Take up fighting.