Never abandon your family

“Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.”  Mother Teresa

When everyone else passes you by, when no one else will lift a finger to help you, when you have nowhere else to turn, when it seems that the entire world has given up on you, it is someone from your family who ultimately comes through.

Many family members never see eye to eye. They fight and argue constantly, growling at each other when face to face. That is a fact of life. Family members will always disagree and fight. However, come hell or high water, somewhere deep down there is a longing and a love for other family which can never be replaced by anyone else.

Family members should never stay angry at each other for extended periods of time. Let the rest of the world abandon you, but never abandon family.

There are some things you need to do if you and a close family member are angry with each other. Sit down and talk face to face. Tell the other why you’re angry. Show them the respect and love that can only come from family. And then do something you may not have done before. Sit and listen. Let them tell you what is on their mind. Listen with an open mind, without judging. Wait until they finish before coming to any conclusions. Don’t pre-judge.

The next thing to do is to see things from their perspective. They may appear one way from your point of view, but look at things from the other’s point of view. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you have done the same thing, or acted the same way?

The last thing to do is to smile. No matter what’s happening to the outside world, no matter how much you disagree, you’re still family and deep down that means everything. When you smile, especially in the middle of a tense moment, you’re telling the others that nothing comes between you and family. You’re telling them no matter how hard headed they are, or how stubborn you are, you still love them.

When you smile at a family member, you’re telling them everything’s alright. You’re telling them there is still hope for us. You’re telling them “I’m here for you”.

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5 thoughts on “Never abandon your family

  1. My Goodness, Omar. No Bull about it, you are amazeing. This is very good–so much insight! Wish my family was like that. After my divorse 20 yrs. ago, my family feel apart. I am in touch with my daughter in Idaho, though. One must be thankful for what they do have and not dwell on what they don’t have. I don’t have any relationship with my boys, but I have to be very happy to have one with my daughter!!!…and Grandchildren! I have a “guarded” relationship with my Mom. or Rather a more formal relationship. Sometimes, Omar, I just have to laugh the way my family is! Laughter is the best medicine, and when it comes to MY FAMILY I could use some!!! (both laughter, and medicine, in that order.)

    Didn’t you get alot of snow, Omar??? Hope you didn’t get flooding.
    God bless you and your lovely family.
    Respectfuly,
    Kay

  2. We got about 10 inches, which wasn’t too bad compared to some of the other areas. No flooding.
    I hope you and your sons can get a relationship going. It’s very important for family to stay close. I hope you can smile and laugh more often with your family.
    Omar

  3. Omar–I heard once,”Always tell the people you love, that you love them, before they walk out the door. Treat every dqy, as if it’s your last. ”
    I already worte acomment, but it did not go through. So until Next Time.
    Kay

  4. Omar I am sorry but you clearly have no insight to the difficulties families face. I am disappointed as it’s been of no sis to me…Your advice is generic and I think you need to investigate family conflicts in more detail. I have had the most complex family difficulties any human can face and I wish there was someone who could genuinely guide me in dealing with the traumatic effect it has had on me and my children. When I told my family I loved them they treated me in the most inhumane way possible as a response.

    • I’m very sorry this happened to you. My advice was based on the relationship and interactions between my wife and her family. Personally, I grew up in a home full of emotional and physical abuse. I had disowned my parents a long time ago. When my father died ten years ago I didn’t shed a single tear. Last year my mother became a changed person after having a heart attack and thinking she was close to dying. I put our differences aside and spoke to her, which made her so very happy. A few weeks later after she was released from the hospital she reverted back to the person I knew growing up and I walked away from her again, this time for good. I didn’t resent her anymore or get madder at her because those she didn’t even deserve that. I was happy with myself for giving her the opportunity to show she was a changed person. The experience did bring my oldest sister and I much closer together though and I’m thankful for that. I have five sisters and four brothers. Most of us don’t talk to each other. No matter what though, if anyone of them comes to me asking for support I will do what I can to help, even though I know I’ll never get the same thing back in return. It’s important for me to show my children how important family is and to always try to make things work, when possible.

      In my book, Coming to Astoria, I go into more detail about my experience growing up and why I eventually disowned my parents. The ebook edition is free on Amazon and other book sellers. If you read the book and think I may be able to be able to help guide you let me know and I’ll try my best.

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